sometimes it feels as though i occupy two worlds. there is this one, the one in which i function according to recomendations/requirements/suggestions. i go to work. i read. i search for jobs. i get dressed. i get out of bed. (okay, so not in that order, but these are the things that occupy me, that fill up the space of one of my worlds.) these are the things everyone sees me doing. this is the world in which i coexist with others.
then there’s that other world. the world that exists within my head. it’s not imagination. it is just as real as the tangible world i interact with daily. but no one recognizes this world. no one knows this is where i live, this is where i prefer to be–locked away. inside myself.
so i move my body out of bed, dress it, put it in the car and drive it to work. and it becomes, in a way, my puppet. i let it do the things it needs to do in such a way that no one recognizes the fact that this is merely a body. this is merely work. this is merely a facade.
the other me is in the other world. missing scott.
it’s been a year today since i last saw him. a year.
and no one knows that. no one but me.