I’ve been kind of disappointed in my postings here lately. I’d hoped that by now I would have gravitated towards more essayistic draftings rather than mere pointless ramblings. Ah, well. Writing is writing, right?
Alright, so maybe that’s true only for a select few. There has been some fiction writing going on lately–a continuous collection of unrelated bits and pieces. Not necessarily attempts at anything per se–just exercises.
But I’ve already written about writing. Have I written about the Very Big News? What was once a potential has really happened and on the horizon I see a Quite Large Opportunity which I will, of course, persue. It’s still hush-hush (at least, to those I haven’t already told), and out of fear of jinxing the hell out of myself I’ll avoid sharing it here. It has made me quite giddy over the past few days, though. If nothing else, it’s a large enough delusion to get me through the drudgery of it all.
But where was I? Ah, yes, going on about how I tend to use this blog in a Dear Diary sort of way as opposed to the Hey What Do You Think About or Let Me Tell You a Story kind of thing. I need to spend more time pondering, focusing. At the end of my eye exam today the doctor noted that my left eye seems unable to focus. ‘It probably just can’t relax right now,’ she told me.
Seems odd that only one part of me reflects my inability to focus.
I’m in my newest favorite place now, a coffee shop in Wallingford (really it’s Tangletown, but who’s even heard of that?). I left the house in hopes of getting a considerable amount done tonight. There’s the presentation proposal that has yet to be written, a piece of a story that’s been sitting in my head since early this afternoon, a new Sherman Alexie book I just picked up and a small editing job I need to get done. Of all those things, one will bring me money, one will help with career advancement, one will make me want to write and one will make me want to bang my head into a brick wall. Now I know that of all those things I will likely only get one done tonight (and I’ll be lucky if that happens).
Ha. As I was writing that, I got my foot stuck under the table. I was trying to rest it on the chair across from me, but the toe of my boot got caught on the underside of the table and I went into a little bit of a panic. I freely admit to being a spaz, but I try not show it off too often.
See what I mean? No focus. None at all. I’m better off sitting and staring into whatever teh hell it is that exists beyond all this.
Maybe those new glasses will help. Maybe my left eye is at fault for all this.