If I ruled the world…
…coffee would be quite cheap and its caffiene would be consistently effective. There’d be none of this ‘a triple shot americano woke me up yesterday, why not today?’ stuff.
…there would be no stupid drivers. Period.
…everyone would know what grits are. They wouldn’t have to like them, but they’d know alright.
…there’d be no bitching about gas prices, especially after a natural disaster.
…nothing would stain my shirts.
…I would always know if there was something on my face or between my teeth. I wouldn’t have to get rid of it, of course, because I would be ruler of the world and I could have something on my face or between my teeth if I wanted. So there.
…I wouldn’t spend so much time worrying over why my brother called me for the first time in 9 months. Nor would I loose sleep over why he told me I had the wrong number when I called him back.
…I would always have a dog. And I wouldn’t be allergic to him–or any other animal, for that matter. Well, maybe I’d still be allergic to cats. It’s a good reason to not have to befriend them.
…writer’s block would be an event rather than a curse. As in: ‘Hey, you taking a writer’s block today?’ ‘Hell yeah. Why wouldn’t I? I deserve a block.’