Back in the day, this online journal was just for me. The content and style was, I think, quite a bit different than it is now. But then, I was in a considerably different head space, too. Then I told one person where I was, and then another and another. And then a stranger found me, and then another stranger. And then some more people I know talked me into telling them where my blog lives. And now there’s this, I don’t know, this feeling that I’m being watched.
It’s kind of creepy.
I’m hyperaware of what I write now, careful to censor myself when need be. No, that’s not entirely true. I don’t censor what I say so much as how I say it. I that I’m shooting for a more consistent voice and fewer typos, at the very least. The new–what’s this thingy called?–interface?– of livejournal helps with that. I can spell check (which I rarely do); I can format fonts (I like to italicize stuff).
More than anything, though, I’m finding myself reading and rereading what I write here. I’ll never be happy with what I write or how I write it and I’ll always, to some degree, feel as though I can get away with some stuff here that I couldn’t get away with in other kinds of writing I do. Even so, I’m working harder to make sure what I say is what I want to say and said how I want to say it. And I’m working harder to show you, dear reader, that I’m aware I’m being watched.
At the same time, it seems quite ridiculous to polish blogfodder. Don’t ask me why; it just does. I equate it to editing a diary. I guess one thing I can say for sure is this feels more like writing now. More so than it did when I first started this journal. So, if that’s the case, then writing is not simply writing so much as what the act feels like.
Does that make any damn sense? It sure does in my head.
So here’s what I want to know: of those who have blogs that aren’t meant for larger (i.e. formal) audiences, what sort of process (if any) do you follow? Is it all a braindump or do you labor over what you write on ye olde web?
Talk amongst yourselves.