One of the more boringly fascinating parts of my job is filtering out all the spam from the Center’s email account. Sometimes I can’t help but read this stuff. This is the world where I could get an MBA and an erection, should I ever be in need of either. This is the world where stocks are sold cheap, where relatives in Nigeria want to give me millions of dollars just because and there’s always something wrong with my E-Bay account. This is the world where people pretend to know–and apparently really like–me, where fantasy and reality are taken over by the land of electronicals*. Absurdity reigns here. And sadly, the basic fundamentals of grammar and spelling have apparently been forgotten.
I often dream of a better world. A world where I am given a large income for doing something small but very important. In this world I have license to roam the country with a bucket of paint and a step ladder, eliminating unnecessary apostrophes and inserting them where they belong. And lately I’ve been thinking that in this world I might also teach a class. Spammers are my students. And on the lesson plan? Spelling. Grammar. Punctuation.
I can make this a better place for all of us. I swear it.
*Thanks, John Paul (wherever you are), for giving me the word electronicals.