unplanted

rude and immoral behavior

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My eighth grade math teacher used to call some guys in our class ‘rude, crude, obnoxious and totally unattractive.’  That’s pretty much what I think of my neighbors right now.  They’ve taken over my part of the yard (they have the back, I have the front).  They’re playing croquet where Petey likes to poop.

Fuckers.  I mean, I don’t go around playing checkers in their bathroom.  

How do you deal with something like this?  What am I supposed to say?  ‘Um, excuse me.  I’d rather you play croquet elsewhere.  I like to keep this area free in case my dog has to take a dump.’  Yeah.  I can’t do that.  

I’m a pretty passive person.  And at times like this I really wish I wasn’t.  I’d like to do what I did when I was five and played croquet with my sister.  Bash their toes with the mallet.  

Funny how my mind goes directly from ‘don’t bother–just let them do whatever they’re going to do’ to thoughts of violence.  I guess you could say I’m angry.  I guess you could say this is just one more incident where someone is peeing in my territory. 

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Author: Kim Sharp

more later

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