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the kim list

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I made this list about a year ago with the intention of posting it here (at least, I don’t think I posted it).  Somehow, I managed to forget about it until this morning when I saw that X posted a list of 98 things about himself on his blog (I don’t know why he stopped at 98, yet somehow I feel as though I beat him by posting a list of 100 things about myself).   

1. When I was 10 years old I accidentally shot a kid with a bb gun.
2. My pupils are larger than normal, which makes my eyes especially sensitive to the sun.
3. I once touched Ella Fitzgerald.
4. I have had some trouble discerning the difference between dreams and reality in the past.
5. I was an active cross-stitcher for several years.
6. I once won a chili cook-off.
7. I’ve never been out of the U.S. unless you count Canada and Puerto Rico.
8. When I was in fourth grade, I told kids at school I was Annie. They believed me for a week.
9. My big toes pop at night.
10. I cannot wiggle my ears or twitch my nose or cross my eyes, but I can do some odd things with my fingers.
11. I’ve only voted in two presidential elections.
12. I use an all-natural toothpaste.
13. My sixth grade music teacher told me I was tone-deaf.
14. I failed college algebra three times. The fourth time I took it, I got an A.
15. I have a theory that people who are currently heavily pierced and tattooed will not live past fifty.
16. I have another theory that most people whose last names that begin with the letters R through Z are introverts.
17. For at least fifteen years, I have wanted to write for The Weekly World News. They’ve never responded to my query letters.
18. I have two ideas for coffee table books: one is a collection of pictures of road signs; I can’t remember the other.
19. I crave massage all the time, but have never received a professional massage.
20. I believe that all electronics function simply because they are the perfect combination of plastics and metal.
21. I have been in a tornado, a hurricane, an earthquake, and a flood.
22. Sometimes when I am bored I make lists. I also make lists when I am busy. I often write down things I’ve already done just so I can cross them off.
23. I’ve always wanted to learn how to play both the saxophone and acoustic guitar.
24. I have driven a tugboat and a tractor.
25. For several years I thought of becoming a geologist; I still find myself carefully examining rocks whenever the opportunity arrives.
26. I had a dream one night that I preferred milk chocolate over dark. The dream was untrue.
27. I dislike black foods: cooked raisins, prunes, licorice, black olives.
28. At this specific moment, I cannot think of anyone I dislike.
29. I am fascinated by how things are made. The process of construction is quite intriguing.
30. I once got in trouble for telling my mother that yes, I did eat my underwear.
31. If given the choice between climbing or diving, I would climb.
32. I’ve never seen Casablanca.
33. When I get nervous, I can hear my voice change; friends have told me that they’ve never been able to discern the change.
34. Monkeys always crack me up.
35. I am allergic to dogs, cats, horses and most other furry animals. I lie and tell people I am not allergic to my dog. I see an allergist.
36. I have had to go to the emergency room four times; three of those times were for allergies.
37. I’ve never broken a bone and I’ve only had three stitches.
38. I often wonder what bleach is made of.
39. Another theory I have: The earth weighs exactly the same now as it did when it was first created, in spite of the amount of people living on it. If, however, we were to all suddenly leave at once, the earth would weigh less than it did in its beginning. Everything we make and everything we are comes from the earth.
40. I have always wanted to be good at either bowling or pool. It is not important for me to be good at both.
41. I don’t think that anything that is dry cleaned is ever really clean.
42. John Steinbeck is my favorite author; Michael Cunningham is my favorite living author.
43. I’m not sure what difference it makes if a favorite author is living or not.
44. I really enjoy washing my car.
45. If I had ramps, I would change my own oil.
46. I wish I could grow sideburns or mutton chops.
47. I believe vests and suspenders are two of the sexiest things a man can wear.
48. Sometimes I feel guilty for leaving people alone.
49. I love to buy new shoes, but really I’d rather just wear socks.
50. Otter Pops give me a sore throat.
51. If I were to choose a second career, something completely different from what I do, I would most likely become a chef or a dog trainer.
52. Motion simulators make me nauseous. I once vomited while watching a movie about roller coasters.
53. I owe thirty thousand dollars in student loans. My hands clammed up just now when I thought about it.
54. My favorite reality TV shows are the ones where people are constantly yelled at.
55. I’ve never broken a bone or had chicken pox.
56. I don’t believe in God, but I do pray on occasion.
57. I often fantasize about breaking things or hitting people. My fantasies are quite graphic.
58. I check my email more than 20 times a day.
59. The only sport I truly enjoy watching is the World’s Strongest Man competitions. I love to see big guys throwing things.
60. I’m anti-hunting and tend to get quite upset when people share their hunting experiences with me.
61. I often think of moving to Nova Scotia.
62. I’ve vomited three times in the past ten years. Once was on a plane.
63. I feel tremendously guilty for not writing.
64. I admire minimalists.
65. I once wrote a song titled ‘Unholy Infant’ at the suggestion of a friend.
66. I get really bugged when men make sudden changes in their facial hair.
67. I often find it hard to make eye contact with people I don’t know.
68. I rarely open my mail.
69. I trim my toenails when I am nervous.
70. Orange juice is the one thing I never, ever tire of.
71. I truly enjoy walking in the rain and have a difficult time understanding why people use umbrellas.
72. Given the opportunity to time travel, I would go no more than seven years into the past. I would opt not to travel into the future.
73. I feel sorry for German Shepards because of the way they walk.
74. I like the Bee-Gees and I don’t care who knows.
75. I enjoy singing, but only when I’m alone. I usually lip-sync to the National Anthem and ‘Happy Birthday.’
76. I get really bugged by out-of-place apostrophes.
77. I’ve often thought I’d like to write and edit ethnic food wrappers and menus. I do realize that doing so would take some of the fun out of shopping for ethnic foods.
78. I fear parasites. Tremendously.
79. I often imagine breaking things. My fantasies are vivid but not entirely satisfying.
80. I’ve recently thought of adopting a child. I’d like to have a boy.
81. I once bit my sister in the stomach. Though I don’t remember doing it, she tells me it bled quite a bit. I don’t think I’ve ever apologized to her.
82. When I was in elementary school, I was friends with an undertaker’s son. His dad often drove us to school in a hearse. Sometimes there was a coffin in the back.
83. One of my favorite memories is of sitting outside at night with my grandpa and singing ‘I See The Moon’ together.
84. I wish I’d taken art or band classes in school. I think I could have made a good saxophonist or painter.
85. I don’t water my plants as often as I should.
86. I don’t floss as often as I should.
87. I never had a birthday part when I was growing up.
88. I like to keep my fingernails really, really short.
89. I enjoy hanging out at airports. As a freshman in college, I’d often skip class and drive to the airport just so I could watch people come and go.
90. I tend to read the last page of a novel first, then try to figure out what it might mean as I read through the book.
91. I have a picture of my fifth grade class with Strom Thurmond. He autographed it.
92. Famous people I’ve been within 20 feet of: Ella Fitzgerald, Strom Thurmond, Tim Burton, Michael Cunningham, Danny DeVito, R.L. Burnside.
93. I’ve lost touch with all my high school friends, but I dream of them often.
94. I do not enjoy wearing dresses. I have worn dresses or skirts fewer than ten times in the past ten years.
95. I would enjoy floating down a river right now.
96. I do not like the taste of beer. I’ve tried a wide variety of beers.
97. I don’t fear heights. I do fear falling.
98. I have very little interest in politics and avoid political discussion.
99. I own a pit bull and advocate for the breed at every opportunity I get.
100. I don’t understand why people are afraid of clowns. While I don’t find them funny, I don’t see any frightening characteristics about them.

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Author: Kim Sharp

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