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going for a thousand

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I’m trying to convince X that we should each compose a list of 1000 things about ourselves (separate lists that is; X’s would be all about him, mine about me–get it?).  So far he’s not biting.  I figure we’re a tenth of the way there.  Besides, how hard could it be to make a list of 1000 things about yourself?  So, being the good sport I am, I give you the next installment of the kim list.  (Hey, you read this blog because you want to know about me, right?)

101.   Rather than visiting family for Christmas, I’m having my wisdom teeth pulled.
102.   Until seventh grade, I was in the ‘gifted and talented’ program at school.
103.   I won the third grade science fair for creating a conductor reactor.  (My dad did most of the work.)
104.   I rarely refer to my sister by her name; instead, I call her ‘my sister.’
105.   Favorite alcoholic beverage: scotch on the rocks.
106.   How often I drink alcoholic beverages: about once a month.
107.   Vanilla is my favorite smell.  Every fall I buy more vanilla scented candles than I burn.
108.   I prefer Pepsi over Coke.
109.   Factories I’ve been to: Bacardi, Rold Gold (pretzels), Hershey’s, some turkey plant (can’t remember the brand).
110.   I’d love to wear hats, but I have a big head that looks even bigger in hats.
111.   I’ve never been to NY, LA or Chicago.
112.   One of my dreams is to drive around the country in an old Cadillac convertible, stopping at every odd landmark (largest ball of twine, etc.).
113.   Thinking I’d be seen as cool, I wore green jeans on the first day of high school. Nobody thought I was cool.
114.   A cop once accused my friends and me of drinking after we’d eaten pina colada Jelly Bellies.
115.   I was shocked just now to see that the word pina is not recognized by spell check. I don’t know how to put the little thing over the n.
116.   Another dream: to drive a giant earth mover. You know, the kind you see on Monster Trucks.
117.   Favorite singer when I was 12: Cyndi Lauper.
118.   My dad’s chest collapsed when he had an asthma attack when he was a kid. I still love to put my head in the dip in his chest.
119.   This is harder than I thought it’d be.
120.   I don’t think I’ll ever make it to 1000.
121.   X was right. This isn’t a good idea.
122.   I’m going to keep going anyway.
123.   When I was 11 my family’s preacher stood in our front yard and hollered that we’d all go to hell if we didn’t go back to his church. We never went back.
124.   I love to cook Indian food.
125.   Last fall, I took up paining as a hobby. I sucked at it.
126.   I never ate fresh mushrooms or garlic until I was in my 20s.
127.   Favorite southern dish: shrimp and grits.
128.   My mom once told me that our dog ejaculated on the parquet floor. That was the first time I heard the word ‘ejaculate.’
129.   The last time I played Frisbee, I sprained my ankle.
130.   I’ve moved every two years since I was eighteen.
131.   I’ve only had one book autographed. The author’s name is Ron Rash. I can’t think of the book title right now.
132.   When I’m feeling down, I buy socks. I bought six pairs of socks this weekend.
133.   I have two tattoos, but no piercings.
134.   It’s seven thirty and I’m thinking of going to bed.
135.   I have hairy feet. I’ve often been called a hobbit. I shave my feet when I shave my legs.
136.   I paint my toenails green in the summer. 
137.   Yesterday I threw away a pair of Tevas because I stepped in dog poop and didn’t want to clean it off.
138.   I collected four leaf clovers for about a two year period in my teenage years.
139.   My friend April Busby’s cousin called me Kimberly Cow Pattie when I was in fifth grade.
140.   April Busby’s house was roach infested.
141.   I first got drunk in fourth grade (in April Busby’s roach infested house).
142.   I learned how to weld in eighth grade. I had my first kiss behind the welding curtain.
143.   I won over $300 one night playing bingo.
144.   I find it terribly difficult to not speed.
145.   I often get road rage and use my horn and/or middle finger an average of two times per day.
146.   I’m working really hard to get to 150.
147.   I’ve had a recurring dream that I am shot and die at the age 72. I believe I will die when I am 72.
148.   I prefer to wear blue jeans more than any other clothing.
149.   I’m not allergic to any foods.
150.   Some of my best memories from high school take place in Kate Ulbrich’s VW beetle.
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Author: Kim Sharp

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