Let it be known that I do not believe in astrology. I’m not in to all that woo-woo stars and charts and crystals thing. I’m creeped out by it for many reasons, which I won’t go into here. I’m also quite the cynic when it comes to this stuff. I guess I border on believing that it’s all a bunch of malarkey and that sometimes horoscopes (and, yes, even “fortune tellers”) can be spot on.
Taurus (April 20-May 20): Today is a 6 — Meditate or make a journal of your dreams today in order to mine for information to apply to practical work. Consider small details that you might typically overlook.
That’s yesterday’s horoscope. (Forgive me, Seattle Times, for lifting directly from your website. Are horoscopes protected by intellectual property restrictions? Can they be?)
Anyway. I went to bed last night feeling guilty for not blogging (though I still can’t understand why. Blog ownership does no,t and should not, necessitate a sense of obligation on anyone’s part, should it?). So I wrote in my journal until I couldn’t keep my eyes open. But the thing was, I wasn’t writing just ’cause I felt bad about not blogging. I had a dream the night before and I wanted to capture it. Getting it on paper was, in fact, an obligation. This dream continues to haunt me. I have walked around with it for two days and I still can’t make sense of it.
Seeing yesterday’s horoscope this evening felt like a note to self–in a way. The part about application to practical work is still a little vague, but I think what I meant by ‘practical work’ was ‘writing.’ Everything, after all, is story fodder, right? So what if that dream I had is about story? What if I need to process the dream to better understand what I’ve been writing about?
And then there’s today’s horoscope (which I read before I saw yesterday’s):
Taurus (April 20-May 20): Today is a 6 — You have plenty of enthusiasm. Use it to enroll a partner in a project, or to complete a writing assignment. Call in a favor if needed.
And I wonder: am I feeling ‘enthusiastic’ about the dream? In a way, yes. I am anxious to figure it out. I’m happy to have written it down, and especially to have written it in so much detail. What’s odd is that, in the dream, I was writing down part of my experiences that occured in the dream. Basically, I’d shot myself in the head on purpose, sustained no immediate injuries and a nurse told me to make a written time-line of events, beginning with what led up to my decision to shoot myself and ending with her telling me to make a time-line. In the end I was chastised for having written too much and received no medical treatment for my wounds. What do you think that could mean?
I see it this way (and I’m sure dream analysts would say I’m thinking about it too literally, but what do they know?): I am in the process of writing my time-line, my history of my Self, and I’m scrambling to get it all down in a very specific way. The consequences of not doing that? A bullet in the head.
(Note to self: read Tobias Wolff’s “Bullet in the Brain” soon.)
Is my dream prophetic? Is it meant to be something for me to use for a writing project? Could it be a sort of catalyst that keeps me writing?
Or is the horoscope itself the catalyst? After all, it’s what got me to write something here tonight.
Or maybe the horoscope was Wolff’s way of telling me to read his story again. Who knows? For now I’m going to bed to read and sleep and have more dreams to haunt my waking life and feed in to my stories.